number one or number two?

One of the things that they never tell you about being a parent is the quantity of bodily fluids you will have to deal with on a daily basis. When you are pregnant, you pee 25 times a day for 9 months, and I think this is to prepare you for the quantity of urine you will be exposed to over the first year alone after your first child is born. For the first few years, you cannot escape from it. You talk about poop, you examine diapers, you grab your children off the ground and smell their butts, you even stick your hands down their pants and grab their crotches, only to sigh and reach for yet another diaper and the box of wipes. Everybody poops, we all know this and yet it becomes this obsession that honestly? No non-parent would ever have guessed would become so all-encompassing. Then your second child comes and at some point you realise that you have not had a day without dealing with someone else's feces for years. Case in point: tonight when my son managed to poop in the toilet, across the seat, and on the floor while in search of another roll of toilet paper, and my daughter peed all over the kitchen floor. Every surface is fair game. My husband deals with more than his fair share and yet I still feel as though I am drowning in human waste. I have a dream, a dream that one day I will only have to look after my own functions. Of course, by then I may be using Depends.....