Monday, January 25, 2010

Learning to put down the stick

We are our own worse critics. No one will ever be as judgmental about us as the person staring back in the mirror. Not to say that we are always mean-I can be my best cheerleader too-but it's hard to remember that what we think of ourselves, what we notice, is not seen by others. Friends do not see anything wrong with dishes in your sink, some cat hair on your clothes, a slightly burned cookie, a forgotten name, in other words, being human.
I was talking to a friend recently and we started discussing the stuff that we do that makes us judge ourselves. I'm not talking about knocking over liquor stores or kicking puppies, I'm talking about legal and non-violent actions that when viewed later and scrutinized seem like things that we should know better about. She wisely has decided to stop beating herself up about things like this, and I wish that I could do that more often. When I finally managed to forgive myself for the stuff I did during my marriage, a huge weight lifted. I also realised that I had managed to make myself feel bad about not being happy, which still makes me laugh out loud and shake my head. And again, who was the one who drove me to this? ME!
So how do I stop beating myself up for beating myself up?
It's obviously a slow process.

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