Fighting the Fizzle

To get back to your original topics, Rebecca, the one on keeping the sparks going in a relationship got me thinking. Daily life has a way of squeezing all spontenaity and playfulness out of a relationship, especially when you have kids or money worries. You hear a lot about using toys, props, strip-tease acts, slinky clothes, and just plain keeping yourself toned and looking good. But while I believe keeping your appearance up does loads for you self-confidence and your partner's interest in you, I've never found these props worked for me; they felt too contrived and forced.

One strategy I do hear from couples who do manage to keep the fires going is regular "dates" or nights out together. It gets you and your hon out of the same old, same old, and into an ambiance/headspace that's new and unexpected. And I don't think it needs to be expensive, either: sometimes just walking along a boardwalk or checking out a café in a new neighbourhood can be fun. These times together can be thought of as vitamins for your relationship.

But the best tonic I've found for my relationship was the very thing I didn't do this year, much to my disappointment: leave the kids with Grandma or another similar guardian angel and go away for a couple of days. We did it last year in November up at Tremblant. Nothing brings the sizzle back in a couple like a little sleep, fresh air and good food--away from the little darlins. Just the energy you get back in those few days makes you realize how much of your personal vitality is drained each day by myriad inanities and looking after everyone else but yourself.

We didn't do it this year because our guardian angel wasn't free to get away, but you can bet as soon as she is, we're booking her.

Does anybody else have any ideas on keeping things jiggy? Here's what