Keep in mind I love my dad

There's a famous Twitter feed called Shit My Dad Says, well, this is my version. Every year we go through this, and if I don't laugh, I might cry.

Things my Dad has discovered this Christmas, again.....

• My stairs are too steep.
  
• I have neighbours.
  
• I have neighbours and he can hear them, and wonders what they are doing.
  
• His incredibly expensive hearing aid only works if he takes it out of his bag and inserts it into his ear (I'm still waiting).
  
• The kids talk fast.
  
• The tv still functions at volumes under 20.
  
• My ipod shuffle. Yes there's music on that little thing, it's not a radio.
  
• Boris Karloff is the voice of the Grinch.
  
• Lime-flavoured fizzy water.
  
• I don't like cranberry sauce.
  
• I only get two English tv stations, and I don't care.
  
• I read a lot.
  
• That temperatures and distances are given in metric.
  
• I've always had that mole.
  
• I don't need to know the weather, I can look outside and figure it out.
  
• The number of electrical outlets in my house (there are not that many).
  
• Pomegranates.
  
• What I do for a living.
  
• Hummus.