Friday, July 31, 2009
Ben update
I haven't been writing about it, but Ben's having a blast with his grandparents and uncle this week. It's weird just having one of the kids around, but at the same time it's been oddly ok. I guess it's because he deserves a vacation and I'm just so happy that he's able to have one. Money and work schedules have kind of made my taking any time off right now impossible. I would have loved to take the kids away for a week to a beach, but it's not gonna happen, so knowing that Ben is having a great time and doing lots of fun activities makes me feel better. Of course Naomi hasn't had anything, which was also pointed out to me by a couple of the daycare ladies this morning, like I don't feel bad enough. Maybe I can get a couple of long weekends to do something, but I know it's not enough. Sigh.... this will get better......
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
no one picks on my landlady
So I'm working from home today because I get more done and could not drag myself into the office. I'm typing away when I hear a ladder rattling outside and some guy climbing the side of the house. Another guy is talking to my landlady on the ground. This isn't her usual handyman, so I immediately started to pay attention. In this neighbourhood, guys come to your door and make up stories, charge the owners stupid amounts of money to fix something, and leave without a trace. They prey on older people, especially widows. I started listening to them and didn't like the way they were pressuring her, so I grabbed some mail from the previous tenants I've been meaning to give her and went downstairs. The next-door neighbour was also out by this point, and we started asking the talking guy questions. He acted all insulted, packed up his ladder, and left.
You picked the wrong lady to hustle you bastard - hope you fall off the next roof.
You picked the wrong lady to hustle you bastard - hope you fall off the next roof.
the girls can cook
The gorgeous Melissa came over last night with flowers and wine and while I prattled on about my life and finished up the chicken salad, she prepared the peaches and the sauce based on my "the first rule of Dina's kitchen is there are no rules" philosophy. Peaches, butter, cinnamon, brown sugar, rum - bake - wow so good with that homemade vanilla ice cream! She coming over to make that for me again!
We had a great meal and the wine went down easy as we sat in the diningroom until late talking and talking.
Girlfriends always make you realise what a kickass person you are, and I needed a little of that. What would I do without my friends? We talked about people coming into your life for a reason, and relationships, and her new duplex, and her fantastic new guy, and life and the endless possibilities that await us. Live here, live now, because you never know when it's gonna stop. Leap, try, dream, do that crazy thing you've been thinking of, embrace the time you have.
Ok, stopping now....geez Dina, get a grip....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
status report
Still uck. Huge gaping hole that is not going away. Ignoring it for now, but it's getting bigger, probably the white sauce.....
Looking forward to dinner with M tonight and hanging out. Finally a hot day and I'm sleeveless (with a sweater of course, dumb office a/c) and thinking I need more coffee.
More as my brain unfolds...
Looking forward to dinner with M tonight and hanging out. Finally a hot day and I'm sleeveless (with a sweater of course, dumb office a/c) and thinking I need more coffee.
More as my brain unfolds...
Monday, July 27, 2009
Did I say throw out the white sauce? I meant, take some, mix it with crushed tomatoes and pesto and serve over leftover pasta with fresh basil. Ummmm yeah, that'll fix my little problem with the scale...
Still feeling so uck. Went for a run, then I was tired and uck. Came home, went out and did groceries at my favorite grocery store. Felt a bit better. Got some divine olives and feta.
Melissa's coming over for supper tomorrow night and has requested the Indonesian chicken salad, so I got fixins for that, how could I say no?
I made a zucchini and spinach soup tonight - nice and green tasting, not too heavy and it'll keep me from buying lunch this week. I'm now making some ice cream to have for dessert tomorrow, I'm thinking it would be wonderful with some grilled fresh peaches, summer, I love you!
Must run tomorrow, a lot....... I think that I'm almost due for new shoes. I've got roughly 700km on these I think, that's averaging it out to 25km a week since January. I felt a twinge in my heel today and my knee's been acting up a bit but I think that's the weather. When did I get old?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
We are having the most PHENOMENAL storm here right now, lightening almost constantly, bursting through the clouds like fireworks. I turned off my lights and I'm out on my porch enjoying the show.
Wow!
Love it if you all could see this with me, the feeling is almost indescribable. How amazing the world is.....
Wow!
Love it if you all could see this with me, the feeling is almost indescribable. How amazing the world is.....
I will not beat myself up because I'm up 4lbs. I will however be dumping the rest of that white sauce I made.....evil stuff......why must butter and cream love my ass so much?
Today was a hard day for only small apparent reasons. Much suckage.....all aboard the pity party express, I hope there's cake.
And then I sat down and made jewelery and playdoh things and felt much better, even if I will now be vacuuming up dried playdoh and beads for the next year.
Today was a hard day for only small apparent reasons. Much suckage.....all aboard the pity party express, I hope there's cake.
And then I sat down and made jewelery and playdoh things and felt much better, even if I will now be vacuuming up dried playdoh and beads for the next year.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
sitting around the castle in my pjs eating cereal and watching crap tv, I mean happily ever after
Spent the afternoon at the pool hanging with the girl before we came home for some Cinderella and supper. I tried an experiment with supper. I poached some chicken and shredded it and set it aside, cooked some whole wheat egg noodles and made a white sauce. The kids don't like tomato-based sauces, but I figured that a white sauce might go over well. I added some freshly-grated parmesan to the sauce and grated some carrots and cut up some cucumbers and an orange pepper and served everything to her unmixed with some sauce in a little bowl on the side. Mine I mixed and added some crushed tomatoes and a few extra seasonings. As you can probably guess, she decided she hated the whole thing and finally ate the chicken and the cucumbers. Sigh.....
Well, it was worth a shot.
Watched this movie with Helen Hunt tonight. I always liked Mad About You, but she kinda dropped off the map. She's gotten really thin and her face looks sunken. I think that's how I was starting to look when I got too thin and I was all stressed, ok, not skeletal like Hunt, but on my way there, she's way too thin. I've still got my thighs and butt and little rolls and stuff, I'm not in danger of being emaciated anytime soon. It wasn't the best movie in the world, and after watching Cinderella I can see that in some ways my 35 or so years of movie watching really hasn't changed a great deal. Always the prince we're looking for, always that man who just shows up on cue and loves us almost instantly. That idea fell away for me in my twenties, perhaps a bit earlier and I've fought that idea for so long in my adult life, the idea that there's a person out there who wants to be with you so much he'll scour a kingdom with a glass shoe, slay a dragon, search without end till he finds you sleeping in the forest with a bunch of strange short men. I've always told myself that you don't marry the person that you can't live without, you marry the person that you can live with, even when they're being a real asshole. In the end that works for a lot of people, but it's never gonna work for me. When you stop believing you stop looking, stop hoping, stop knowing that there could be someone out there who would bring that shoe to your door, who would change the world in even a small, clever, surprising way because they want to be with you so much. The royalty and the palace stuff is bunk though.... but a good princess always has a half-decent stock portfolio and RRSPs.
Well, it was worth a shot.
Watched this movie with Helen Hunt tonight. I always liked Mad About You, but she kinda dropped off the map. She's gotten really thin and her face looks sunken. I think that's how I was starting to look when I got too thin and I was all stressed, ok, not skeletal like Hunt, but on my way there, she's way too thin. I've still got my thighs and butt and little rolls and stuff, I'm not in danger of being emaciated anytime soon. It wasn't the best movie in the world, and after watching Cinderella I can see that in some ways my 35 or so years of movie watching really hasn't changed a great deal. Always the prince we're looking for, always that man who just shows up on cue and loves us almost instantly. That idea fell away for me in my twenties, perhaps a bit earlier and I've fought that idea for so long in my adult life, the idea that there's a person out there who wants to be with you so much he'll scour a kingdom with a glass shoe, slay a dragon, search without end till he finds you sleeping in the forest with a bunch of strange short men. I've always told myself that you don't marry the person that you can't live without, you marry the person that you can live with, even when they're being a real asshole. In the end that works for a lot of people, but it's never gonna work for me. When you stop believing you stop looking, stop hoping, stop knowing that there could be someone out there who would bring that shoe to your door, who would change the world in even a small, clever, surprising way because they want to be with you so much. The royalty and the palace stuff is bunk though.... but a good princess always has a half-decent stock portfolio and RRSPs.
afternoon napping on a great big bed
Sitting in my ex's living room waiting for the in-laws to come and get Ben for a week of fun and games in Ottawa. He's only ever been away from us for one night – ever. This is going to be weird. This is the kind of stuff that he'll remember when he's older. I was never close to my grandmothers. I never liked my dad's mom, she was a hard lady, and pretty mean. I loved my mom's mom, but she kept her emotions in check a lot, that was just her way. My kids are lucky to have all four grandparents and to have such great relationships with them.
Yesterday was a down day. I eventually went for a run and then home, a shower, and then some me time. I put on my comfiest clothes and picked up a new book, laid down on my bed and spent a couple of hours reading and napping. Pure bliss! You forget what a luxury that is sometimes, to be quiet and just be, nothing to do, no one to see, no place to go, that hazy, happy, heaviness that comes over you when you lay down on a crisp bed and begin to unclutter your mind.
After I woke up I went down to the video store and picked up “Forgetting Sarah Marshal” which helped shake off the blahs. Bits were stupid and predictable, but there were some lines which were truly original, and of course the full frontal guy nudity, which is astounding for any Hollywood film. I know that penises are not the most graceful bits of anatomy, but I have no idea why they are so shunned. Perhaps if they were seen more people would find them more attractive. I've always liked them in that quirky way that you like strange-looking dogs, or odd clay statues your kids make.
Once Ben is away, Naomi and I are off to do something. She needs new shoes, but it's so nice a day that we may just go to the park instead. This summer has taught us to take advantage of the nice weather while it's here.
And supper? Hmmmm... good question.....
Yesterday was a down day. I eventually went for a run and then home, a shower, and then some me time. I put on my comfiest clothes and picked up a new book, laid down on my bed and spent a couple of hours reading and napping. Pure bliss! You forget what a luxury that is sometimes, to be quiet and just be, nothing to do, no one to see, no place to go, that hazy, happy, heaviness that comes over you when you lay down on a crisp bed and begin to unclutter your mind.
After I woke up I went down to the video store and picked up “Forgetting Sarah Marshal” which helped shake off the blahs. Bits were stupid and predictable, but there were some lines which were truly original, and of course the full frontal guy nudity, which is astounding for any Hollywood film. I know that penises are not the most graceful bits of anatomy, but I have no idea why they are so shunned. Perhaps if they were seen more people would find them more attractive. I've always liked them in that quirky way that you like strange-looking dogs, or odd clay statues your kids make.
Once Ben is away, Naomi and I are off to do something. She needs new shoes, but it's so nice a day that we may just go to the park instead. This summer has taught us to take advantage of the nice weather while it's here.
And supper? Hmmmm... good question.....
Friday, July 24, 2009
Went over to Lysanne's last night for supper. She dove into her fridge and pulled out tons of fresh veggies and fruit and suddenly there was a meal! I helped by putting together a huge fruit salad. I was soooo stuffed! The simplest meals are often the best, especially when they're shared with a friend and a bottle of wine. We talked till late and I wandered home. I had a hard time getting out the door this morning. It's a grey day and to be perfectly honest I'm having one of those curl-up-into-a-ball-and-cry days. When these hit, and as you know they have been hitting often, I ache for that perfect hug. So far, that hug has not produced itself.
I have Naomi all weekend so that Steve can do his annual blogathon. Ben will be spending some quality time with his grandparents this week, so I fear that Nomi will be missing her favorite playmate. I'm looking forward to spending some time with just her, I think we are due for a girl day.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Dear Mr. Policeman
To the cop who gave me the ticket this morning: thanks for making my morning a bit suckier, you know I didn't deserve it and I'm sure karma's gonna get you today.
I will now try not to take your crap attitude out on anyone else.....
I will now try not to take your crap attitude out on anyone else.....
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Dutch music and beets
Listening to the most amazing album by Marike Jager - she's Dutch. A friend there sent me a couple of songs and I'm hooked.
Work's been a bit crazy, I'm a little unfocused so it's taking me longer to get things done. For the past couple of nights I've been up late, half working, half surfing the Internet and day dreaming. I know that I need a break, to turn my life off for a week and go to a place where there is water and no one expects anything of me. I know who I'd want there too.
But enough of my dreams of vacation! Let's get with the salad!
I made this beet salad recently and it turned out really well, I've been caught up in the arugula spirit! In fact, I have a large bag of it in the fridge and I have to get busy before it goes the way of all lettucey things.
I've been doing more with beets recently and really enjoying them. I never ate them when I was a kid, but I'm making up for lost time now.
This recipe also turned me on to my new favorite thing - sour cherry jam. I'm not a jam person because I'm not a toast person, but this stuff is divine and is great for throwing into things where you want a little soury-sweet something.
Work's been a bit crazy, I'm a little unfocused so it's taking me longer to get things done. For the past couple of nights I've been up late, half working, half surfing the Internet and day dreaming. I know that I need a break, to turn my life off for a week and go to a place where there is water and no one expects anything of me. I know who I'd want there too.
But enough of my dreams of vacation! Let's get with the salad!
I made this beet salad recently and it turned out really well, I've been caught up in the arugula spirit! In fact, I have a large bag of it in the fridge and I have to get busy before it goes the way of all lettucey things.
I've been doing more with beets recently and really enjoying them. I never ate them when I was a kid, but I'm making up for lost time now.
This recipe also turned me on to my new favorite thing - sour cherry jam. I'm not a jam person because I'm not a toast person, but this stuff is divine and is great for throwing into things where you want a little soury-sweet something.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Hooray for sun!
Ben's party was a success! The forecast was dire, but then at noon the clouds parted, the sun came out and it turned into a beautiful afternoon!
I finished the cake in the morning after a birthday breakfast and walked it over without mishap. The kids started arriving at the park and once we assembled we trooped down to the pool for an hour of splashing before heading back up the party area for pizza and junk food and then cake and presents. Ben and his friends had a great time. I'm always amazed that no one ever gets bored and that his friends are so enthusiastic about hanging out with him. I also love watching him play with his friends and talk to them. He's really coming into his own. We did the pinata and everyone scrounged for candy and toys and then one by one the kids went home and the remaining adults headed down to Steve's place for some hanging out. Ben of course made out like a bandit - lots of little lego robot-type people that I can barely figure out with instructions. Ben just looks at the box and puts it together. I'm amazed.
Today I slept in and enjoyed coffee in bed, then had a slow day with some work, some errands, some house chores. I should probably get some cooking done tonight. I figured that I'd dump all the odds and ends out of the fridge and see what inspires me. Wish me luck!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Happy birthday Ben
My son, you are 6! When did 6 years pop up and happen? You have been wonderful and giving from the start. You arrived early so that you didn't have to be delivered by the obstetrician that mommy couldn't stand, you were so charming that the nurses held you all night long that first night, they couldn't bear to put you down. Even your delivery was calm and trouble free.
As you have grown, you have developed into your own person, but the kindness of your soul has remained constant, drawing people to you, encouraging them to take the light and sweetness that you exude and share it with others. People respond to your beautiful heart and they want to be around you, I've seen you melt the hardest heart, and make even the toughest exteriors crumble with your smile. You are a truly remarkable person, and I cannot wait to see what this year will bring for you. You have given me more than you know and I'm so happy that you are part of my life, that I am your momma.
A thousand hugs and kisses,
Momma
I'm making waffles!
Another day, I'm sure that I did stuff... I felt pretty busy.
Got home with the kids and we were all starved so we did a leftover supper of odds and ends. I still had enchilada filling in the fridge so I used that, and pasta for Ben, and chicken and random stuff for Nomi. I have to do more prep work on suppers for the kids - we get home at supper time so they can't wait that long to eat or they get all crazy - I understand because when I don't eat I kinda lose my mind. Despite the fact that I know this happens and I know I forget to eat ALL the time, I never think to bring food with me. The man of my dreams may turn out to be the one who always carries a Snickers bar in his pocket, although it'd be pretty melted I suppose......
So I flipped on the tv while I was trying to install some software and there was this interesting documentary on food on CBC, but I didn't end up watching it because I had stuff to do. I made a batch of waffles and some granola. Breakfasts have been challenging this week, for some reason Naomi has decided to eschew her homemade bread and butter addiction, and Ben has been kinda eh with his standards. I normally only do waffles on the weekend and then we eat leftovers during the week, but I figured what the heck I'd do them tonight, and I've been out of granola for three days so it was time.
The bit of the doc that I did see showed this grocery store in Ohio called Jungle Jim's. It has a monorail running outside! And it's apparently the place to go for all things ethnic. I must go. Every place I travel to I treat grocery stores like tourist attractions. I love going up and down the aisles and seeing all the weird new food. And let's not get started about open-air markets! I walked through a great one in Amsterdam.
I will get around to writing about my trip. I can't wait to go back.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
random
Sitting at my desk enjoying some carrot-ginger soup and homemade whole wheat bread and butter....nummmm.
I have the kids until Friday. We opened up the tinkertoy box last night. Do you remember tinkertoys? Well, the new sets have the wooden sticks and round whats-its with all the holes, they also have plastic curved joiners and all kinds of new parts and I have no clue what to do with them. Ben made some amazing robots, Naomi made a hammer (my genetics are showing - can you tell she's my girl?) and then made buildings, well, she said they were buildings anyway. I tried to follow their imaginations and not direct - what they were coming up with was way more interesting than anything I was thinking about anyway. I ended up staying up way too late trying to finish some work, but the sleeping was divine when my eyes finally decided they couldn't focus and I passed out. Another excellent morning cuddle and then some playtime, some breakfast, and then out the door. I forgot my cell phone at home, but I remembered all the kid stuff. I am a bit lost without my phone, I wasn't driving home to get it either.
Irene's coming over tonight for a visit and some wine and to bring me her old camera - I'm buying her 20D and a nice general lens. I've been wanting to get a DSLR for years, and when she told me she was putting her old one up for sale I couldn't resist, it's an excellent starter camera. Let's see if my photography improves.....I tend to think it won't, but at least the images may be better quality.
I'm also getting geared up for Ben's birthday party this Saturday. There will be much cake baking Friday night. I'm doing something with Transformers, but it will be my usual lame making two big yellow cakes (from scratch!) and then sticking action figures all over. Still better than something store bought I think...
I have the kids until Friday. We opened up the tinkertoy box last night. Do you remember tinkertoys? Well, the new sets have the wooden sticks and round whats-its with all the holes, they also have plastic curved joiners and all kinds of new parts and I have no clue what to do with them. Ben made some amazing robots, Naomi made a hammer (my genetics are showing - can you tell she's my girl?) and then made buildings, well, she said they were buildings anyway. I tried to follow their imaginations and not direct - what they were coming up with was way more interesting than anything I was thinking about anyway. I ended up staying up way too late trying to finish some work, but the sleeping was divine when my eyes finally decided they couldn't focus and I passed out. Another excellent morning cuddle and then some playtime, some breakfast, and then out the door. I forgot my cell phone at home, but I remembered all the kid stuff. I am a bit lost without my phone, I wasn't driving home to get it either.
Irene's coming over tonight for a visit and some wine and to bring me her old camera - I'm buying her 20D and a nice general lens. I've been wanting to get a DSLR for years, and when she told me she was putting her old one up for sale I couldn't resist, it's an excellent starter camera. Let's see if my photography improves.....I tend to think it won't, but at least the images may be better quality.
I'm also getting geared up for Ben's birthday party this Saturday. There will be much cake baking Friday night. I'm doing something with Transformers, but it will be my usual lame making two big yellow cakes (from scratch!) and then sticking action figures all over. Still better than something store bought I think...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
what I need
I'm having one of those days where I am wearing all of my emotions on the outside of my body. This morning when I woke up to the rain I felt so sensitive, vulnerable, open.
I need a hug, a hug that envelops my entire body and makes me feel safe and warm and wanted.
I need a hug, a hug that envelops my entire body and makes me feel safe and warm and wanted.
Monday, July 13, 2009
and we live in igloos too
It's July and I'm wearing a sweater and seriously considering the fuzzy socks - what is wrong with this picture? There is nothing that I appreciate more usually than a cool July evening, except when it's preceded by a cold, rainy July day, multiple ones to be exact. I have tiny little tank tops (well, as tiny as mine get) waiting in the closet for those hot days where you just can't stand clothing. I know I will regret this, but I'd love to be complaining about that fact that I do not have an air conditioner, at least for one solid week. On the plus side, I don't have that ceiling fan up in Nomi's room (issue with the fixture screws), and I only own one fan, so perhaps I should just shut my trap and love the fact that I am sleeping at night. I am sleeping, deeply, dreamlessly, without waking up to contemplate life at 3am. When I wake up I feel pretty rested and alive. I snuggle down under the duvet and I think about how nice the sheets feel and the light coming in from the window, and I listen to the birds and spend a little time picturing what I want and what I need and how I'm partway there. Then, I get my ass out of bed and put on my parka and get ready for a brand new day.
all hail rain
I'm sitting in my office enjoying this awesome thunder storm and hail, and then I remember that I forgot to close the windows at home. I see a mop in my future.....
Sunday, July 12, 2009
sunday
Yesterday went according to plan. The kids and I went out to the breakfast place and had a nice meal and then we metro'd down to the site. I don't know why I even bother taking the kids to shows, I could just let them ride the metro all morning and they would have been thrilled. We took a detour to the washrooms at Complex Desjardins and discovered a little treasure: there's an echo chamber built into the food court! There's a spot in the middle that has a concave in the ceiling and when you're under there you can make the most amazing sounds. We played there for ages while people were walking past staring at us like we were idiots. Some people have no idea what's fun..... And of course CD has that big fountain - that's all we needed.
So we went to the show and it was too talky for the majority of kids there, there should have been more music. Naomi got bored and when she's bored she picks on Ben, luckily, he was a good sport about it. Then we took the metro back - yay!!! When we got home it was starting to get grey and ominous, so after lunch we made cookies, or rather, they helped until they got bored (pretty fast), and then I finished up. Steve came and got the kids before supper and I was at loose ends. I got in touch with Guislaine and went and picked her up and we ate and had some booze and yakked until midnight. It was a good girl evening.
We had some incredible thunder and lightening last night, it was lighting up the sky and shaking the house.
I woke up early and enjoyed the morning with coffee and Internet in bed, a bit of reading. I also figured out what I'm cooking this week so I can do some shopping and get a few things in the fridge for the week. And I must clean the house today, or find a house elf.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
morning
So far the weather prediction is bunk – it was supposed to pour rain and yet it's a beautiful early sunny morning, light streaming in through my window, a cool breeze giving me goosebumps. Nomi woke early and crawled in for a cuddle, bliss until she started booping my nose. They are now watching a movie and I am showered and back in bed with a coffee. I get so much done on the principle of “I'm up anyway”. Kids are great for that, they are the reason that you find yourself scrubbing the toilet at 3am.
I've always loved early mornings, that feeling that you are one of the few experiencing the new day, the quiet, the foggy misty stuff that happens before the sun burns it off, the peace. Running really early is something that I've started to enjoy with my free mornings – the feeling that I am alone in the world, hearing my feet hit the pavement, the sound of my breath – and I'm up anyways.....
The tentative plan for today is to go down to our breakfast restaurant and then take the metro to the Jazz Fest for the children's show at 11. If we miss it there's another one at 1:30. After that the weather will decide what we do – either to the park for swimming or home for cookie baking. Steve's taking the kids tonight. I had some plans but they fell through so now I'm thinking about maybe going down to the port for fireworks, we'll see......
I've always loved early mornings, that feeling that you are one of the few experiencing the new day, the quiet, the foggy misty stuff that happens before the sun burns it off, the peace. Running really early is something that I've started to enjoy with my free mornings – the feeling that I am alone in the world, hearing my feet hit the pavement, the sound of my breath – and I'm up anyways.....
The tentative plan for today is to go down to our breakfast restaurant and then take the metro to the Jazz Fest for the children's show at 11. If we miss it there's another one at 1:30. After that the weather will decide what we do – either to the park for swimming or home for cookie baking. Steve's taking the kids tonight. I had some plans but they fell through so now I'm thinking about maybe going down to the port for fireworks, we'll see......
Friday, July 10, 2009
question
It's too nice a day to be inside, why the hell do I have my ass parked in this office chair?
Thursday, July 09, 2009
A beautiful sunny day for a change! I woke up this morning, went for a run, got ready, and went to the dentist for my cleaning. No cavities this visit! Honestly, I have the worst teeth, I get cavities no matter what I do.
Adriana came over for dinner last night and I made vegetarian enchiladas. I kinda grabbed three recipes and then made something up and I have to say that the sauce was fantastic - now if I can remember exactly what I did........ I served it with sliced iceberg lettuce with a splash of lime juice and rice vinegar and seasalt, and of course there was sour cream and a very chunky guacomole. After we had a strawberry rhubarb crumble that I made Sunday night with vanilla ice cream and cappucinos - perfection!
I have the kids tonight. I've been jonesing for them all week. I picked up Ben on Tuesday, but I haven't seen Naomi - it's getting a little better but I miss them so much.
Adriana came over for dinner last night and I made vegetarian enchiladas. I kinda grabbed three recipes and then made something up and I have to say that the sauce was fantastic - now if I can remember exactly what I did........ I served it with sliced iceberg lettuce with a splash of lime juice and rice vinegar and seasalt, and of course there was sour cream and a very chunky guacomole. After we had a strawberry rhubarb crumble that I made Sunday night with vanilla ice cream and cappucinos - perfection!
I have the kids tonight. I've been jonesing for them all week. I picked up Ben on Tuesday, but I haven't seen Naomi - it's getting a little better but I miss them so much.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
sleeping under the same moon
The moon is so gorgeous tonight. I spent a lot of time looking at it and thinking about how amazing the world is and how everyone I love and everyone who loves me can all see the same damn moon. One of my friends had a baby today, a new life. It just doesn't get more amazing than that. A new little person to inhabit this world and share its joy and its pain. I've always believed in the idea that there is something bigger than me at work - not god, but an energy that exists between people, bringing things together when they need to be brought together, creating connections, love, life, opportunity, if you just give it the chance. That sounds flaky I know, eh, maybe I'm a big flake. What I do know is the more that you fight something you feel, the more the world fights you. In the end, you are better to go with the feeling and see where it takes you and let it teach you something. I'm learning, I'm learning.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
It's ok to cry
Tonight at jammy time both kids freaked out on me. Ben was going on about something "scary" he saw in tv (which was not scary and they had both been retelling the story all afternoon over and over again and laughing) and Naomi suddenly clung to me and wouldn't say anything. This is the hard part. This is the part that I have been dreading. Naomi understands what is happening. She wrapped her little arms around my neck tightly and wouldn't let go, she curled up into my lap, I could hear her breathing sometimes soft sobs. I held her back as tightly and we just sat there, rocking back and forth and I tried to reassure her that everything would be ok, that it was ok to be sad, that I was sad too and that Steve and I would always love her, never leave her. She was quiet and subdued for the rest of the night, so unlike my kid that I am so worried and beyond upset. This is all my fault, how can I do this to her?
Things I love
Waking up with a breeze blowing over my shoulders and having a little girl climb into bed with me so we can share secrets, play nosies, and sing Itsy Bitsy Spider together....
Friday, July 03, 2009
Went to Ikea, Naomi was very good despite all the people, although she has started running off which has got to stop. Going there any time around moving day or beginning of term is just stupid.
We got a step stool, some cheap folding chairs, a tea set that Nomi talked me into, some curtains, and night lights. On the way home, the girl fell asleep in the car. We got home, ate, played, and then it was off to pick up recycling boxes, then Ben. We are now sitting at Steve's place while Ben does his ABA. I'm thinking spaghetti for supper. We didn't get to everything on our list, but we didn't do too badly.
Fika was enjoyed by all apparently.
Work will get done on the weekend. My folks are getting a lift in, looking at my new place and driving the truck home. They are also bringing in a few things that I had stored.
Can't wait to get home and get the kids settled so I can rest - another long day.
I did a 15 books that stick with you meme on FB. These are mine, what are yours?
Catcher in the Rye
The Great Gatsby
Goodnight Moon
A Prayer for Owen Meany
Chicago Manual of Style
Moosewood Cookbook
Short Stories of John Cheever
Ulysses
A Wrinkle in Time
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Pride and Prejudice
Midnight's Children
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep
The Death and Life of Great American Cities
Eat, Pray, Love
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Yeah, it's 16....and of course later I started thinking about all the other good ones I missed.....
We got a step stool, some cheap folding chairs, a tea set that Nomi talked me into, some curtains, and night lights. On the way home, the girl fell asleep in the car. We got home, ate, played, and then it was off to pick up recycling boxes, then Ben. We are now sitting at Steve's place while Ben does his ABA. I'm thinking spaghetti for supper. We didn't get to everything on our list, but we didn't do too badly.
Fika was enjoyed by all apparently.
Work will get done on the weekend. My folks are getting a lift in, looking at my new place and driving the truck home. They are also bringing in a few things that I had stored.
Can't wait to get home and get the kids settled so I can rest - another long day.
I did a 15 books that stick with you meme on FB. These are mine, what are yours?
Catcher in the Rye
The Great Gatsby
Goodnight Moon
A Prayer for Owen Meany
Chicago Manual of Style
Moosewood Cookbook
Short Stories of John Cheever
Ulysses
A Wrinkle in Time
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Pride and Prejudice
Midnight's Children
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep
The Death and Life of Great American Cities
Eat, Pray, Love
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Yeah, it's 16....and of course later I started thinking about all the other good ones I missed.....
Friday...
All in all, I can't complain about my kids first night. Ben only fell out of bed twice (must remember to put cushions on the floor tonight), and Naomi slept straight through. We woke up to light rain and a cool breeze and they climbed into my bed and we chatted, Ben mostly about Star Wars (while holding the dvd), Naomi mostly about a birthday party (while clutching 15 gazillion things). Then we got up and got ready and ate and despite some last minute panic about not finding rubber duck (under her bed), we managed to get Ben to camp. Naomi is staying home today because I haven't been able to get the smaller creatures, although I'm sure they're dead, out of her hair. Time to find an even smaller comb. She did let me blow dry her hair this morning so it looks very fluffy.
Naomi is just finishing second breakfast and then we are off for a day of errands which hopefully will result in chairs, lighting, and curtains, and a smaller comb..... I am so looking forward to Ikea with a 3-year-old.....
Naomi is just finishing second breakfast and then we are off for a day of errands which hopefully will result in chairs, lighting, and curtains, and a smaller comb..... I am so looking forward to Ikea with a 3-year-old.....
Thursday, July 02, 2009
nit picker
- Daughter is fine, will wash her hair in the morning and comb it and see if I can bring her to daycare tomorrow. If not then it's a vacation day!
- We have to stop by the office because it's also my fika. Actually, it was my fika last week, but I didn't know, so it's this week and I can't be there.
- Am making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for said fika and bringing in some of the banana cupcakes. Have I mentioned that I'm loving the oven so far? I thought that the digital oven controls were gonna be a pain but they aren't and the timer is so easy! Of course, it will be a pain when it breaks.....
- Must buy dining chairs tomorrow, although it was kinda cute to be sitting and eating pizza tonight (too worn to make dinner I'm afraid), Ben in my office chair, Naomi in a folding camp chair and me sitting on a step stool. The novelty will wear thin however.....
- Kids were great tonight and bedtime was wonderful and there were no tears or weirdness. I'm so glad my kids are resilient, I just have to make sure that I make this good for them.
- Have I mentioned I'm wiped? A friend of mine mentioned this place in the Adirondacks where you park your car, rent a canoe, and can just take off and camp for a couple of days. That's starting to sound better and better.
- Beer and cookies tastes ok.
my daughter is teaming with life, literally
Got a call from Steve - daycare called and Nomi has head lice...ugh....could this day get more stressful? Go to pharmacy, go to Steve's, start washing everything, give Nomi the treatment, have you ever tried getting a three-year-old to sit still while you run a nit comb through her hair? I doubt she'll be able to go in tomorrow, she had it pretty bad....sigh...
Still looking forward to having the kids over though - especially now that delousing has commenced.....
I. need. a. vacation.
Still looking forward to having the kids over though - especially now that delousing has commenced.....
I. need. a. vacation.
Squeaky Sandals
Squeaky Sandals
Originally uploaded by avidreader514
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Did I mention I'm also painting Nomi's dresser and mirror and have just decided that the pink is too pepto bismally.... oh well.....
I made some banana cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and they are spectacular - moist and nice banana flavour when the nanas are on their way out. Lots of frosting left over too. Naomi has been asking for banana cake for a while, so I thought that I'd try out a new recipe. The kids are staying over for the first time tomorrow night and I'm hoping it goes well. I don't have the energy to write about the kids yet and how it's going with them and me. I knew this would be hard.
It's time for a shower and some reading.
I'm starting to have a really crappy night all of a sudden....
I made some banana cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and they are spectacular - moist and nice banana flavour when the nanas are on their way out. Lots of frosting left over too. Naomi has been asking for banana cake for a while, so I thought that I'd try out a new recipe. The kids are staying over for the first time tomorrow night and I'm hoping it goes well. I don't have the energy to write about the kids yet and how it's going with them and me. I knew this would be hard.
It's time for a shower and some reading.
I'm starting to have a really crappy night all of a sudden....
and how was your Canada Day?
Happy C-Day! It was a gorgeous day, but I didn't get to enjoy any of it.
Today was a toy and clothes organizing day. While the kids were in Ottawa I went through and tried to sort through all that stuff and bring some over to my place. The clothes went pretty well, but the toys just overwhelmed me. I couldn't find half the stuff I was looking for (presumably it's down in the basement), so I ended up bringing a small amount of stuff here, but it barely looks like I made a dent. I guess more will migrate over, but when you can't find all the pieces for a toy, there's no point. I see a large dumpster in my future......
On the bright side, at least I wasn't moving today.
We are having a big thunderstorm here and it sounds fantastic and the wind's blowing and the lightening....I live for evenings like this.
Today was a toy and clothes organizing day. While the kids were in Ottawa I went through and tried to sort through all that stuff and bring some over to my place. The clothes went pretty well, but the toys just overwhelmed me. I couldn't find half the stuff I was looking for (presumably it's down in the basement), so I ended up bringing a small amount of stuff here, but it barely looks like I made a dent. I guess more will migrate over, but when you can't find all the pieces for a toy, there's no point. I see a large dumpster in my future......
On the bright side, at least I wasn't moving today.
We are having a big thunderstorm here and it sounds fantastic and the wind's blowing and the lightening....I live for evenings like this.
Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours
Made it to the concert, crowds weren't so bad, everyone was pumped, dancing in the streets! I love this city!
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