Monday, June 15, 2009
On Friday, I was sitting at the restaurant with Adriana and I took off my wedding band and stuck it in my purse. It just felt like the right thing to do. I take my rings and watch off when I work, when I clean, when I write, when I shower. Lately my rings have gotten left in a drawer more often as I pack and work. I have still been wearing my wedding band to avoid questions and because technically I'm still married. I also didn't want to offend my husband. On the way out to the townships on Sunday I realised that he wasn't wearing his ring! I'd spent time feeling bad about hurting his feelings and I hadn't even realised that he wasn't wearing his ring. In many ways I think that's very telling. I'm always trying to not hurt people, always trying to shield and protect people from what I think will be bad things, but in the end it doesn't help anyone. I'm also a tad unobservant it seems. So I took off my ring, and I stuck it in my pocket and when I got home I put it in a drawer. Maybe I will get myself another ring some day, who knows, maybe I will want a symbol of belonging in another person's heart down the road. Right now my finger feels a bit too light and I guess it will for a while.